Let me start this post by stating that I know what I am about to say is going to be wildly unpopular. I also understand I am in the vast minority with this opinion but I feel the urge to let it out. Ok, here goes:

I HATED the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' trilogy!!!!! 

Btw, I didn't just dislike the trilogy, I flat out hated it.  But in the interest of this blog being an insight into my soul, I had to be honest. 

About one week before I had Decker, I was in Costco with my Mom grabbing some last minute items for a bridal shower I was hosting for my bestie, Diana. (Who hosts a bridal shower a week before they have their first child you may be asking? The answer: A CRAZY person. But that's a story for an entirely different day). Anyway, I had seen people post on Facebook raving about these books and seen Pinterest stuff on them too. Since I love to read, I am usually looking for my next book and when I saw the trilogy perfectly bound together at Costco, I decided to to pick it up. I had absolutely NO IDEA what these book were about. I guess you can say I was unpleasantly surprised.

So before you all leave me hate comments because you can't possibly fathom how I could hate these books, let me give you my rationale:

1) There is absolutely no real plot or character development....there is just SEX! Don't get me wrong, I am no prude, but there comes a point in time where it just gets old. So if you haven't read these books yet but you really like all the kinky stuff, I recommend you save yourself the trouble and just rent a porn movie. You'll save yourself a lot of time. 

2) So there are three 400+ page books and I can summarize them for you right now: 

Young virgin meets rich billionaire. They have sex and of course her first time is the most magical and soul shattering experience ever (SUPER believable right from the start, right?). Billionaire buys girl elaborate gifts and tries to control her life, which makes her feel like a whore (She's right. Sex for money and gifts = WHORE). She leaves him. He buys her expensive gifts. She goes back to him hoping he'll change and not be so controlling. They have make-up sex and she gives in more and more to his kinky sexual ways and demands. He doesn't change. He remains controlling and this cycle of her leaving him, him buying her gifts, and her going back to him pretty much continues for the entire series of three books. And the big shocker is that this billionaire has mommy issues. No kidding! I am so happy the author took a psych 101 class. Somehow the billionaire finally changes (sort of) and they live happily ever after. So yeah, I guess you can say that I am a little bitter that I wasted my time reading approximately 1500 pages when I can summarize the entire series in one paragraph. SUPER LAME in my opinion!

3) What's most disturbing to me about these books is they perpetuate this sick fairy tale that many of my female friends seem to operate in. You know you all have that friend (or perhaps several friends) that always seem to fall for the "bad boy".  You end up having to listen your friend(s) blabber on endlessly about all the crappy shenanigans this bad boy puts your friend through. And no matter how bad it gets, your friend(s) always goes back to this bad boy because they seem to somehow think they are going to be the one girl that CHANGES him.  So my issue with this series of books is that it gives all of these sad, pathetic women that ray of hope that they will eventually change that damaged bad boy. Get a clue girls....you aren't the nexus to his paradigm shift.  I would also like to direct these delusional woman to read a little book called, "He's just not that into you."  

4) If Christian Grey was just a very good looking, minimum wage earning laborer (not a billionaire) I speculate these books wouldn't have been so popular. Let's be honest, most of you level-headed ladies wouldn't have been remotely interested in Christian Grey's crap if he wasn't ridiculously wealthy. And to that I yell, "YOU'RE A WHORE!" (In a funny teasing sort of a way).  

4) I hear they are making a movie out of these books.  My question is: Unless the movie is literally a pornographic triple X film, how they heck are they going to make a movie out of these books???  Perhaps all the debate on Facebook and Pinterest over who would play Christian Grey is rather moot. Ladies, if you loved these books and they just make an R-rated film out of them, ya'll are going to be wildly disappointed.

5) Lastly, for all of my friends that have told me how much they loved these books and how much it gave them great inspiration in the bedroom....I am having a hard time not laughing hysterically at you. It's probably because I am now envision you in a beautiful gown at a fancy dinner party walking around for hours with anal beads up your pooper.  Ummmm...pass!!!

Basically, I just can't find the appeal in these books. I wish someone could explain it to me!!!

My First Blog Post!!!

Here it is folks, my very first blog post. You might be asking yourself why in the world I would start a blog (or perhaps that is just the question my husband, Kevin, asked me when I told him I was starting a blog).  It's an idea I have been kicking around in my head for a VERY long time. And as it turns out, it's been a pretty crappy year and a half in our house, and I think I am going to use this as a therapy of sorts. I have LOTS of things constantly running around in my head and I figure writing them down will give me an outlet to let it all escape. Not to mention, a blog is a heck of a lot cheaper than actual therapy.

Now that I have thoroughly scared you into thinking that this blog is going to be a constant assault of depressing topics that should be left at the couch of the therapist's office, let me assure you that this is NOT what this blog will be about.  While it will be a bit of a look into my crazy brain,  I want this blog to mostly be comprised of tried-and-true recipes, rants about things I dislike, raves about thing I love, general observations about life, crafts, parties, and updates about what's going on in the Byrne household.  I may even get political from time to time.

So if you are interested, please feel free to join me on this journey.